Mr. Bachchan and a Phone call

It was Pamba's phone call..and each time he calls, believe me, i expect something out of the ordinary..Last time, we were arguing if Federer was the greatest tennis player ever and then suddenly, he claimed to have won the argument. Not because i had failed on logic but simply because he thought that i was grammatically incorrect!! And then as a victory dance, he had gone on to proclaim that "Jhoom Baraabar Jhoom" would be a huge hit and so would be "Shootout at Lokhandwala"..the reason being that the two films boasted of a certain "Mr. Bachchan" leading the pack. Having read the reviews, and being such a sensible person that i am [;)] i didnt really agree with the hypothesis and offered him a bet worth the first salary either of us would be getting. And being the ardent Amitabh Bachchan fan(or so i thought), he was too happy to oblige. "He he Arpit...keep those 25 Grand ready..u labour hard for a month and i ll run away with the money..gud gud..poor u"

Needless to say, the two films didnt do well, so I had actually won. And here was his first phone call since then. I was expecting him to curse the audience and their "bad taste" and teach me some nuances about film making. But then with Pamba you never know..

"Hello.." I said
"Hello Arpit...how r u"
"Is that you Pamba, how come is the voice unusually clear today"
"Is it??"
"Yes it is...what happened to that damn Reliance phone of yours..u seem to be calling from the land line"
"Hmmm...welll...it's a long story Arpit"
"Ok..let it be..how have u been..remember u now owe me your first salary..courtesy your Mr. Bachchan" I said with a naughty smile
"Yeah..that Rascal!!"
"What!!!"I was totally stumped..till a few days back, this chap had been his hero
"That rascal has made me part away with my first salary"
"Oh..its ok Pamba"
"No!! Its not Ok!! He has not only "robbed" me of my money, but has been evading tax as well"
"Hmm..nd guess he has been violating the Foreign Exchange Maintenance Act (FEMA) too"
"Yeah..and not to forget the farmlands he bought..how on earth can he claim to be a farmer"
"Not to mention the endorsement 'Uttar Pradesh : Uttam Pradesh' claiming UP has a very low crime rate"I quipped
"Exactly!! Enough is Enough!!" He said raging
"I have my idols too..How can i continue to support him.." he went on to say
"What bullsh*t..your set of idols..where the hell were your 'idols' when you were extracting money from Dawood Ibrahim's mistresses' daughter" I managed to say
"Arpit, let bygones be bygones!I have decided to boycott all his movies and stuff and please don't ask me to think about it again! I will bring about a revolution. There would be thousands of others who would join me for this noble cause and together we ll teach Bachchan a lesson. And then i would give you an exclusive interview..so that finally your blog gets some readers"
"Oh..Pamba i would be so very very thankful to you"I said cheekily
"Keeing up with the boycott..the last few days have been a bit tough for me..but u see idols come first"
"Oh My God..is that the reason why you arent using the Reliance phone " I wondered
"Precisely and u know i have also quit those stupid chocolates which always gave me a feeling as if i was eating a can of worms"
"Cadbury..hmm..and what about that 'Parker' that u had forced me to 'gift' u"
"Well..i threw it in the dustbin"
"Pamba..i seriously dont believe this..how can u do that....u could have given it back to me"
"Come on Arpit, u should make sacrifices too.I have not been wearing my 'Reid and Taylor' suit to office. You know,I havent been to a restaurant for quite sometime courtsey the 'Pepsi' glow sign boards. No wonder, the breakfast isnt very tasty without the 'Amul Butter'. My digestion is on an all time low without the 'Hajmola' but then i want to teach this man a lesson "
"Are you really serious about all this" I had nothing better to say
"Well Arpit..my live-in partner has left..she wasn't finding me very energetic and advised me to continue with 'Dabur Chaywanprash'..How can i do tht!!You see,I can find an another live-in partner but not compromise on my principles"
"Waaah" I said
"My boss has been giving me a lot of headache for my disheveled looks, but u see, i cannot get my hair cut done as the barber also uses 'Navratan Tel' in his saloon"
"Okk"
" Courtesy the long hair,I had a nasty fall yesterday, but then for my principles' sake, I would not use the 'boroline' or that 'fast pain relief' balm.You see, i ll handle all these hindrances with aplomb"Pamba said proudly
"And if thats not bad enough, that washerwoman of mine refused to use any other detergent than 'Rin', so i have fired her from her job"
"And Pamba,i know how lazy you are..so does that mean that you have been wearing the same dirty clothes"
"Hmm..well..Yes...atleast for the time being..."
"OMG"
"Arpit by the way, does this rascal endorse 'Itch Guard' too" Pamba sounded a bit cautious this time
"Hmm..i do not think so"
"Thank God, I am relieved"
"Pamba i am really sorry for you"
"No...u need not be..you better be sorry for Mr. Bachchan..We can do whatever we want to...this is what democracy means..Remember, what we did to Sachin Tendulkar..for a single failed chance, we questioned his diligent record, his commitment towards the nation and were more than happy to smear mud on his face, letting his hard earned reputation go to the dogs...So u better pray for Bachchan this time" he said a bit sternly
"But I think this time, Mr. Bachchan being Mr. Bachchan, he would have the last laugh.Wonder what would you people do if he starts endorsing under-garments as well"I said and put down the phone





Authors Note:The above post was an intended sarcasm( sidin style :) ) on the trend of hero worshiping prevalent these days. The fans are always on the extremes....either they regard their heroes as God/Goddesses or turn them into Devils overnight. An equally unresponsive behaviour is seen on the part of so called "heroes" who are so very involved in their materialistic pleasures that they pay no heed to their social and moral obligations.
Hope it wasn't too bad :) So pour in your feedback
And Pamba sorry for using your name :) :)